My beautiful friend -
I know you are going through some tough shit, and I want you to know you are not alone. I am so sorry you are suffering, and your kids are suffering too. DIVORCE SUCKS, can I just say that real quick?? I know it, I wish I could have shielded you or saved you from this pain. :-( I just know you are going to get past this, and things are going to be AMAZING.
"Hey world, I'm tired of all this Black and Blue." - Miike Snow
I have more questions than answers, but just know you are not going through any of this by yourself. Like, why do other people constantly try to shift their pain to others? Why do others have pain? How do you get rid of pain? I am sure you have the answers to these questions, but it doesn't help when you are in the midst of the painful shit.
Here are some things I like to do, some good, some bad, to get rid of the black and blue.
1. Numb it via self-medication (is it wine o'clock yet?).
I do this - I mean, who doesn't? Life is hard and every once in a while we need to turn off our brains and just chill. This can be a slippery slope, but hey, my motto is everything in moderation! I am not advocating everyone go start taking drugs and drinking too much, but if it helps to have a couple glasses of wine with a friend or loved one on the weekends (or week nights), I say DO IT!!!
2. Listen to some LOUD ASS ROCKIN' MUSIC!
This speaks for itself and I am sure you already do this! Listen to some old stuff, or I am more likely to listen to something new that you suggested to me. HAHA, I don't think this post is teaching you anything that you don't already know.
3. Move your body.
Go for a walk or run - preferably on a trail in nature. Or go do some yoga. Dance your ass off with the kids!!!! This is something I need to do more. I know you do this, and in combination with the loud ass music above. So go do it now!
4. Do something you love!
For me, it is doing something creative. I either paint, draw, rearrange the living room or do some kind of creative project. I also love to clean out a closet or organize something lately, which is a little out of character for me, but it feels good to have something more cleaned out or minimalized once in a blue moon. Is "minimalized" a word? I guess I love to make up words, too. I also like to make a nice dinner, or hang out with friends and family, or do something fun with the kids. And, of course I love to watch TV! OMG, I spend a little too much time on that lately. I have many passions to keep me in alignment with my quest for joy in life. You do too, go work on one of your passions.
5. Vent to someone
It really does help to just say the things that are bothering you out loud, to release it from your body and brain. Please CALL ME ANYTIME!!!! If you don't have anyone to talk to, there are lots of coaches, therapists and people out there who will listen.
Now, go listen to this Miike Snow song with the volume turned all the way up!!!!
I love you and you will get through this.