A New Year -Dream of Beautiful Things

Hi Kat:

I know that people tend to think about the past year and what they did or did not like as the New Year approaches. I am not one to make resolutions at a particular time (at the new year) but I do like to think about things I want to change at any time of the year, so why not try it this year for the new year?

So, I am sharing my list of resolutions for 2017. You will notice that they are not about money or things, but about my heart and my truth. I hope you like them, but if not, that is okay, because they are for me and you don't have to like them.

In 2017, I vow to:

1. Love without rules.

I vow to stop creating reasons to NOT love someone. I will continue to put boundaries on the person if they are not a good fit for myself, and not my emotions. Trying to control how I feel about someone only hurts me. I feel what I feel, but I can do what I need to do for myself to make things better for me.

2. Forgive myself daily.

This is a difficult task, I know. I get very frustrated when I do not remember something I wanted to remember, or say something I wanted to say, do something I wanted to do. By getting mad at myself, I have realized that I decreases my chances of doing it better later because the anger will pop up and I will want to avoid it because I will have a subconscious fear of getting MORE angry with myself. If I forgive myself daily, I can do the things I missed, or messed up, or forgot without making it more difficult for myself.  Instead, I can realize what stopped me when it did not work or happen, learn from it and then NOT repeat it again. If I do not look at it, I will repeat it. When I am really angry with myself, I avoid looking at it. To stop this endless cycle of misery, I want to forgive myself daily.

3. Forgive others daily.

I have lived long enough to realize that whatever someone else does to me, is almost always a personal issue they are taking out on the nearest available target. I do this and must forgive myself and it is done to me and I wish to forgive others. We are all just trying to find peace and joy and connection, we just don't know how. And our issues tend to lead us around if we don't look at them and fix them. So, I plan to remember that we are all doing the very best we can at any given moment. It is easy to look back and say "I should have", but the "shoulds" will kill you if you let them. We can only say "I will..next time" and that makes all of the difference at certain moments.

4. Say what I need to say, without judgement.

I become afraid to speak my mind at moments with people who are sensitive, or angry or prone to lashing out at me. Or if I feel they will judge me. It doesn't matter if I am judged, I know that is their own issue. It doesn't matter if they lash out at me or decide to take my feelings personally. If I am feeling unheard, I need to make myself heard. But it is also important for me to balance my ego with that. There are moments when I think I must teach others something. It is usually me that I need to teach or remind, but I make it my purpose to subject others to my "wisdom" (LOL). My wisdom is not always wise or it is not really needed or wanted. I choose to share without judgement and that means not supposing that anyone else may NEED my voice to make a difference in another person's life.

5. Get over my bad self.

Yea, I dig my junk sometimes. I like my creativity and humor. I think I am very entertaining at moments. However, there are times when I take it too far and it comes from ego instead of actually appreciating who I am. My ego likes to pop up when I am feeling like I need to prove myself to someone and THAT happens when I feel unwanted or unseen. Or I want to be "important" to someone else. The only person I need to be important to is me. And when my ego tells me otherwise, I hope to get back to my truth, in my heart, and know I am enough, and good and okay just as I am. I do hope to be important to my children too, but not to control, just to guide them to be who they are meant to be. To show them how to be kind and true. I can still dig my junk, but I don't need to prove myself to anyone, that is not really digging my junk. That is trying to get others to dig my junk.

And those are my mot important goals for 2017.  I hope you enjoyed reading this. I would love to hear what matters to you this next year. What you dream about and hope to accomplish.

I love you!

Happy New Year!

Marcy

About the Artwork

The picture above is a pencil drawing based on colors and feelings that the saying "Dream of Beautiful Things" brings to life inside of me when I am the recipient of this statement. I am seeing a gentleman that texts or says this to me each night. It is so simple, yet vast in it's possibilities. It captures everything I wish for in my dreams and it inspires me each time I hear it, just as he inspires me everyday. Thank you for that inspiration. I hope this drawing captures the softness, sweetness, yet possibilities of that very statement he shares with me.